Suave 24/7 - 365

Bronya Biom!

Jingle Bells! Aah yes, another Christmas season is upon us and as usual, there will be the good, the bad and the yawa. Seems like this year the motto is “I’m broke” but knowing some Ghanaians very well, that won’t stop them from showing up to places and standing @ the entrances or car parks to make conversation, hit on “init init fuor” and the chart topper, “charle go chill me eh“.

You see some don’t understand the “don’t have any, just stay home” concept. isn’t by force you know. There are 12 months in a calendar year, and you decide on the 12th month to declare yourself broke. Ok so everybody has a separate lifestyle but for the love of God, what happened to planning for the future?

*throws last sentence of last paragraph out the window*

In any case, the atmosphere in the country will hit a fever pitch. Of course sadly, there will be more ratchet personalities mixing with the cavaliers, creme de la cremes and average. Not as if you needed any reminder though. The real winners as always it is during this time are the women. If a graph was to be drawn showing this proof I believe it would look something like the steps to heaven, whereas the mens stats would look like that to hell.

Some have questioned the significance of the guys and girls down here suspending their relationships (suspending here means the end of the relationship. Nonfa in a way but I just thought using that word would make victims feel a bit better of themselves) for the “init init fuor“. But I ask you reading this today, can love amend for the depression of cliche sex, skinny pockets and having to go anywhere, everywhere and chilling like a BOSS or BOSSLady?

I think you get the picture.

In any sense, where as the money seekers lie in wait for their saviours to come and make it rain on them, the thirsty ones are also waiting to quench their desires which stretch to as far back as the last time they surpassed a blow job or a kiss. Oh yes…the thirst is real.

So while you go on your social networks, rendezvousing with people, ranting about what you don’t have, having aimless rants @ other people and thinking, nothing and no one can come between you and your “lover”, just remember, the owner of your goods is coming to reclaim its rightful possession, be it for just 3wks or so.

I’ll definitely be looking forward to the euphoria though. I mean what’s more exciting than seeing guys waste their last bit of earnings on girls who have multiple unofficial bank accounts? And what’s also more exciting than seeing girls being passed around like the Sunday offering sack? I mean apart from the booze and food that is, what could be more exciting?

On that note I’d love to say, the best Christmas gift to give to a guy this year is a pack of condoms, and for the ladies, a pack of birth control pills. Let’s face it, our economy is shitty enough, expanding the population will just do us more harm than good.

Guys please note, your women will be borrowed. Women please note, your men will also go and invest elsewhere. Come whatever may be, twitter or facebook or BBM isn’t the place to cry your heart out. Fact of the matter is, and I’ll say this politely, “nobody gives a shit”.

I won’t give any advise on how we should spend the Christmas, I believe as I said earlier, it would all be cos90 because you and I both know, right after you read this post, your immediate comment will be “this guy fool! In fact..he’s not correct”.

In any case, all I’ll say is, let’s make merry, kiss and makeup, but most importantly share the essence and value of what of Christmas stands for and no I don’t mean “jamming”. Happy Holidays everyone!


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