Poetic State Of Mind

40 Days, 40 Nights..

A period of reinvention,
I sought the Lords intervention and here I am,
Rebuilt, mind body, soul and spirit,
For years questions have knocked on the door
of my heart and I’ve failed to ask “who is it?”

The man I ought to be,
Versus the man I am presently,
Two colossal forces trading fists of fury,
With the ultimate prize?
Soul possession of my mind, soul and body?

So for these days that I walked on thorns of
memories,
Each piercing my mental thoughts,
Realizing that I self inflicted these wounds that
were meant to heal in order for me to grow,
Clearly back then, I thought not,

Of what implications and complications these backward motions would bring to the notion,
I was slipping, hoping for to land on a cushion,
Like the GLYCO ad on television,
Wishful thinking, what would you do in my
position?

Would give it all?
Harbor suicidal plots all because you ignored
yourself and cared for masses who thought less
of you overall?
Would you batter yourself over wrong turns and
decisions,
Choosing to love without a prescription?

For these days I don’t pour liquor,
For these days I plant seeds of redemption
and immense my head in a bowl full of vinegar,

Nights when I laid my head to rest and gazed at
the sky,
Nights when my tossing and turning were accompanied with “what’s” and “why’s”,
Pondering over cases of x’s and trying to solve
the y’s in the math of my love life,
I seek to defy this logic of being a hopeless
romantic not preparing for the future but to die,

So the cells within my brain over these 40 days
and nights have been healing and flushing away
the pain,
Flushing away the need to be loved,
Flushing away the need to be thought of,

For those who truly have you in mind,
Are not the seasonal greetings kind,
They have you in prayer each and every day,
And every day, when your presence is missing
they feel a void, almost as if a part of them
isn’t there,

I’ve risen beyond the trials and tribulation,
I seek glorification but understandably, I
am aware I need to be patient,
Cause where I want to go, no one could ever follow,
Not even if you borrowed my sole,
Your soul may not stand tomorrow,

I stand here today to tell you that the Lord
is my witness,
My life is an investment and to Him I am His
business,
So I sprinkle to all my wrong doers a million drops of forgiveness,
I forgive them even if they’re unapologetic,
The bigger picture here is I don’t regret it,

40days I sought my wrongs,
40nights I corrected them all,
40days I chose to reassess my living,
to re-address my hearts door,
40nights here I am winning, poetically
reaching to you with my chord less stricken
song,

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