Are you thankful for the friends you have? I don’t mean those who you’ve known for about 5mins or a year or two. I mean those who know you so well to criticize you when you fail to admit to your wrongs. I mean those who pick you up irrespective of how deep the trenches that you find yourself in are, the ones who’d risk it all. The friends who are not ashamed to be associated with you.
You see, people love to condemn, not all but a good number. Others feel, once you hit a brick wall its only natural for them to leave you in a pitiful state or better yet let you find your own way just because you should know better or they feel they’re way better to be or be associated with people in that position.
Its easy to push away people who have your best interest at heart but think about it, would you rather have friends who’d lie to you that you making a fool out of yourself is nothing but just “turning up” when you’re damaging yourself right before your very own eyes?
We hate to value those who we know speak truthfully and love to embrace those who treat our trust and friendship as nothing but mere grains of dust. Then sit somewhere and judge these same people as if these guys forced their way here (into our lives).
The situation can be clarified, but we ignore all the warning and hazardous signs, be it out of ignorance or whatever and when things get real later on we become the butt of everyone’s joke and banter.
The general consensus these days is “no new friends”, “loyalty is earned” etc, my question is have you for a second considered that you are also part of the blame for what is known as the “problem”.
What does friendship mean to you? Is it just about partying here and there, hanging out in the good times but then being in different to the bad times? Is it about being associated with people because of their popularity status? Can these same people you call friends look you straight in the eye and say “you’re wrong, and you need to get your act together”?
I believe friendship is formed on the basis of trust, truth, identity and understanding. Trusting him or her to come clean on exactly how they feel about a situation. Being there when you need it the most and not having to make flimsy excuses to find ways out. Being truthful in the sense of coming clean with thoughts and opinions and not holding things back.
Having an identity here means knowing exactly the kind of relationship you have with whoever. That you can call each other friends because you have a kind of bond that ticks all the right boxes. Last but not the least, understanding each other in terms of decisions or actions taken due to perhaps cultural differences or the setup of your ideologies.
Basically a friend is like an extension of a family member. Just like the family member who will not hesitate to back you or slander you, so is a friend. If he or she only supports you in the good times, you need to question his or her loyalty.
The goal today is to review the circle of friends you have. Be honest with yourself to identify those who do not shy away from throwing punches at you when you fall on the wrong path, and not just chill out with you when things are on the upside.
“In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends.” – John Churton Collins