Poetic State Of Mind

The Situation…

I can’t escape the allure of love,
What’s different?
I’m still that boy who can’t get a decent commitment and somehow all these women I pitched myself to either got married or pregnant so I guess this is;
the consequence of pulling down all my fences,

The thought of giving a chance was distantly remote like lost relatives,
I wallow in this pool aware of my misgivings,
Aware that I am not the problem,
Aware that my situation is not as a result of men being trash but rather women having higher expectation without a pinch of patience,
Why bother?
I too feel the need to acquire a tough skin,
Writing this piece currently I feel like my insides have lost vim,
Like a summer morning Beijing heatwave with no winds,
Humidity at the brim and I wonder if my needs will come to fruition in this life of sin,

I remember how it felt making ones heart melt,
Stringing words together just to appreciate her irrespective of background, tribe, religion, physique or the weather,
Those were the good days now even more I could fuck up a good thing,
I could fuck up a friendship without having shown intent from the beginning,
I guess I’m a fucker-up for being a gentleman and doing the right things,
So what sense is there in finding that substance that seem to make the world a better place to live in,
Misconceptions of an insecure mind triggers emotions of discomfort from within,
The blame game, fast brakes on routes that bear no ramps nor curves,
The prosecutor with some nerves has the jury thinking it’s the defendants fault for her coziness around him,
Yet the real victim sits guilt stricken in mind but not arsed in body for the wool being thrown over the eyes of men and women,

If I had a wish it’s never to feel like this anymore,
Tear up the board because the score show more losses inflicted by no fault of mine,
Helpless romantic I am but for the longest time I’ve been helpless to these women that don’t seem to have my time,
Women that conjure petty excuses in the name of “you’re such a nice guy, but you deserve better”, synthetic modesty is the new guilty pleasure,

I’ll be damned if I allow this to go on but my words lack conviction and my soul is a slave to this locomotive that steam rolls on,
My desires know no wrongs so I’ll be a pitiful bastard that keeps singing these sad songs over a glass of whatever concoction my liver decides to guzzle on,
Maybe some day I’ll turn my wrongs into rights,
Some day I’ll have the courage to fight,
Till then my lack of foresight will seemingly be both my strength and my kryptonite,

 

I’ve lost the plot haven’t I? 


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Poetic State Of Mind

Best Friend…

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I want to fold clothes with you,
I want to make you feel good,
Baby I want to do the right things,
Even if not in the right ways,
Because you’re my 4am prayer,
My 5am workout,
My 6am cup of coffee,
My 11am brunch of fruits and honey,
I want to be connected to thee so when you speak…
…I can feel your heart beat,
Lately it seems you’ve been working too hard to even notice me and I apologize for being late on your birthday that is unusual of a man of my pedigree,
I promise to make it up to you everyday for the rest of our lives from the moment we declare each other as bae,
Go to church with you on Sundays, braid and un-braid your hair,
Youtube your favorite activities because I want to be paired with you like bestfriends do,
Pound and eat fufu from the same asanka as you do and not have a single care in this world,
Travel the world on sea, land or in air and let the world know you’re  my girl,
Be the blue ribbon to tie you down like your pony tail,
Be the blue ribbon to reward your excellence, faith and trust in the process and journey we’re bound to make,
But that’s for a later date come what may,
On a day like this I just want to celebrate your existence, your mold,
Your beauty, from your milk chocolate skin tone,
Your…dreamy eyes to your gracious smile beholds opulence,
Silence me with your elegance,
Intrigue me with your intelligence,
Devour me with your sexiness if just for a moment,
Bless me with your love, forever draw me close to your heart,
and though we are apart I’m wide open to take a shot at your love….

 

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Poetic State Of Mind

I Am Fine…

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I see no clear path,
My faith keeps getting tested,
Father I failed you after my upbringing,
Mother i bit my tongue when you spoke but I failed to listen,
I have life but I ask is this really worth living?
While my friends flaunt and show off their success I stay low key envying and teeth kissing,
Why am I different?
Why can’t I get a decent job?
Why is finding a soul mate really hard?
Why can’t I gain some weight?
Why can’t I lose some more?
I’m staring at my social posts waiting for these likes so I can also feel like a GOAT,
I’m stressed and I’m in pain,
My friends and family look me in the eye but neglect me over and over again,
No one to talk to so I cage my thoughts in a cell with little to no air,
It’s rather pointless adding my frustrations to their already populated space to be fair,
Why should I care about a world that bears grudges with me,
Cuffs me in a state of confusion,
My soul used to be a pond of freshness before I got polluted with all these illusions,
Perhaps it’s not for me,
Maybe I deserve to be in a place of 0 hostility,
A place where I won’t have to worry about he, she, they or them,
A place of calm waters and sweet serenity,
They will never understand my worth till I’m gone,
Good riddance to you dear world, 
Dear universe here I come….

 

This piece was inspired by recent suicide stories…mental depression and loneliness is real. Let’s do more than sending “hey” texts, call someone today, visit someone you know, you might just save a life. Thank you.

 

 

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Poetic State Of Mind

Overrated…

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If my cornrows didn’t lie on this trey like Mario,
What if my roses were blue and your violets were red?
What would you do if I told you I’d been out on a couple of rendezvous with a few of those insignificant wannabe you’s but failed to highlight this was at the point where you had me stretched out like the elastic in my BBall shorts and all sorts?

I am no genie and my carpet is immobile,
Italian yes but not Immobile if I may stress,
So what if i confessed that I’m attracted by your intellect but truly in love with the push to start knobs on your chest?
What if I were a graduate with a pass and class rather than your ass of a crass boy with a classless ploy to make you think you deserve a certified player to fidget and control you like a toy?
If I pushed you into the pool to reveal your nude only to find out it was neither bjuku nor juju on the beat, curse that day but bae would you be mad If I asked why all those contours and yet your face looks steep?
If I lied to get in your dross, but at the point of penetration I hesitantly withdraw,
Would that be an L on my score? 

You see I’m asking these questions because you don’t get the fact that I’m stressed with all your suggestions,
Stressed with all your second guessing’s,
Like I can’t tell if you want a future or you want to get past these blessings,
If I left you hanging borderline between forever & always and go to hell,
Would you up and leave considering your emotions tend to fluctuate like ECG?
So what if I also grew impatient and called you basic?
Would you be mad if I said I wish we never had dated?

You’re just sitting here looking unconcerned and unfazed,
Playing with your phone like all this talk is gibberish and you’d rather be at home and I bet the guy you’re texting is probably boning your bestfriend but you’re here with me thinking you’re just flexing,

Struck a nerve didn’t it?

Here I am trying to justify why we should both be singing from the same hymn sheet
but you’d rather do a solo with no acoustics nor beats,
No you’d rather paint a picture of hell with me fanning the flames that you feel like only saints were heels,
What’s the point if all we do is argue and complain with makeup sex covering the same cracks we bust open again and again,
How do we ever heal from this pain?
If what I get for going through lengths and sacrificing lent to make this work is being branded inconsiderate,
Then I guess it’s true what they say,
You should only make yourself a priority,
This love thing is overrated…

 

 

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Poetic State Of Mind

Catorce…

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Heaven had no meaning until I met you,
Mother nature’s finest specie and I swear it still feels like a dream come true,
I counted my blessings and said a prayer,
Miracles were inevitable, having you was far fetch back then and yet here I stand in confusion of how you are right here,
I sometimes find it hard to comprehend what I have done to deserve you,
You looked beyond my flaws and my twisted virtues,
Looked beyond my demeanor and appreciated my upbringing,
Trust in my goals, regardless of how slow the process will take for us to land that pot of gold,

I am not worthy of this goddess,
Her elegance is far from modest,
Her intellect is at the apex of where my heart and soul seek to procreate a
love that goes further beyond anything I could ever dream for,
I was on my knees this morning, thankful for many things,
Thankful for many persons,
Feeling blessed for many dreams,
Today I choose to celebrate you, more than yesterday or the day
before,
My best friend turned mi amor and if not for anything, my wings of strength,
For what’s at stake, damn right I’ll go through lengths,

I want to braid your hair,
Give you back rubs,
Hand wash, iron, and fold clothes whilst you sit glowingly on that chair,
I want to be your handy man,
Mend and repair all broken pieces, your frustrations between these
Martha Stewart’s bed pieces,
I want to do the right things even if its in the wrong ways
I want to seek continuity and growth as you bear my yokes,
I want you to be my forever lady,

Clear blue waters and white golden sand trapped between our toes as we
cuddle whilst watching the sun go down low in its last dance,
And if I have the chance I’ll wrap you a coloring book with no problems,
The questions about x’es and finding y’s let me the one to solve them,
To say these things and yet be unresponsive and careless is an indictment
to us,
The horns have been honked, my sweet lady, hold my hand,
All I ask is for your unwavering trust…




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Poetic State Of Mind

Here Before…

How deep is your love,
How deep…is your…love?
I need to really know because we are living in a world full of kwasia’s, aboa’s
and 0twea’s who can’t restrain themselves from trying to “off pants”
in the name of bants,
If this love you say you feel for me surpasses anything you ever felt before
then why do I always hear it whenever you demand for material possessions?
Last week it was the Jimmy Choos,
The week before it was the Balenciaga’s,
You are gassing me up and it’s a big spot of a bother,

What are you going to ask today?
a Valentines Day upgrade of your Yves Saint Lauren’s to Balmain?
Alright I’ll admit I need to spend on you,
But if we are going to go through this phase love there better be food
on this plate whether I come home early or late,
That body better be positioned for my ammunition and I am not kidding
when I say “I will teach you lessons your body and soul will never be able
to brave”

You say it’s controlling, you think?
Just wait for the toss of that kitchen sink…

Name one time I did you wrong?
Name one time I did not find it in me to write you a song?
Especially on days when your jollof tasted better than that night market
waakye,
That jollof tasted better when i tossed the salad against the frivolous weather,

Agenda twins for twins is still on my mind,
He makes things all beautiful in His time,
Ok fine..I get it, you aren’t ready yet but as we draw and withdraw the dross,
insert, incline, intersect, intertwine, recline our spines beyond feasible but
spiritual lines,
Just know it’s only a matter of time before I Russell you with a double double
in overtime,

You laughed, I swear your smile is perfect,
I wish I wasn’t this nervous,
Maybe it’s because you were there during the losses more than the wins,
The lost rib from my loins, you were there from the onset when all we counted
were coins,
I will forever cherish the day you told me “my best friend is this reason I live till
date” and long may I reign as the King of your hearts with an Ace of blessing rather
than a curse of Spade,
It’s like we have been here before, over and over again,
From foul mouths to turkey jibes, like broken glasses our tongues have cut through
the sole of our soul almost as if our pain threshold is addicted to its module,

I can’t say I don’t enjoy it,
You can’t neither,
We deliberately bruise each other’s ego till we penetrate more holes than what is
required of me to score “relationship and family goals”,
I just want to wake up every day laying right next to the person who will challenge
me all the way,
Pick me up from my faults, help me bear my cross,
Be bonded adhesively during my losses and not only through my net and gross
profits,
I want to profit from this investment I went in with a piece of sheet, my thoughts
and a pen,
That same part where irrespective of shortcomings and upbringings,
Love always win…

 

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Poetic State Of Mind

Last Word….2016 

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It’s been an incredible year,
A year full of ooos and aahs, glories and failures,
Joy and grief,
Birth and eternal sleeps,
Yet I stand here,
In spite of me going the extra mile, not accomplishing my goals, being distracted by friends who’d later turn into foes,
I suppose it’s a miracle my soul is intact,
In my reflection of the past 12 months I realize I screwed up more than I grew up,
Underestimated the power to realistically achieve whatever I perceived,
Que sera sera but I could have done a lot more,
I could have opened and shut a lot more doors,
Could have retained and obtained the love I had for the gift, people and path of life I walk on,
However in all things I give thanks, it’s time to walk on,

Next year I want to do it all,
I want to think it all, achieve more and use my losses as stepping stones to stand taller and tougher than the Great Wall,
I want to love like no other, 
Touch and feel the mind, body and soul of whoever I sync with without focusing on tallying up the body count,
Real goals, the ones that win you trophies rather than just points,
I want God to hold steady this yacht full of positivity and ideas,
Strengthen my faith and allay all fears,
Bless the fruits of my labor and refine my blood sweat and tears,
Next year I want to move up a gear without having to worry about what’s in my rear view mirror,
With hard work and dedication, with patience but no hesitation, 
With prayers and much faith,
Lord elevate us out of this concrete as roses to be GREAT!

 

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