Apology…

I walk on this road alone,
My thoughts far from home,
My misgivings of yesteryears just
bolted pass me like it was on a mission
to break records in my already shattered
mental stratosphere,
What brought me here is still quite uneasy
to process but I am a man above all things
so in the midst of this confusion I seek for
the ultimate redemption back from my
recklessness,
Misconstrued perceptions and ego duels,
How could I have let myself go from the
tower of sanity, humility and truth?
I placed myself before others and you were
caught in the line of fire,
Thought of myself as the Big Mac when I was
nothing but a kids meal looking to satisfy
relentless and unwavering appetite and desires,
I lit up your world only to black out your soul,
A price to pay for looking to rack up the body
count stats rather than acquiring relationship
goals,
Pieces of you still haunt me in my sleep,
My dreams are full of nightmares, and the
scars cut deep,
We were supposed to grow together not
just in the flesh and heart but in the soul
and spirit;
Rekindle the love of our ancestral fathers and
mothers but my pride and selfishness would
just not let it,
We grew distant,
Like twins with irreconcilable differences, 
Where I went wrong was mistaking you for
just any other love song,
Wrong pitch, wrong melody, right lyrics, bad
harmony,
In your eyes we were meant to be, an attraction
so vivid you would not need Hawkeye nor VAR
technology to verify its certainty,
It hurts me today more than yesterday to know
that I gave your smile a sore,
It hurts more to know I left a gaping hole in your
heart after you let down your defensive walls,
So I am sorry today for all the pain caused,
I am sorry for not giving you my all,
I am sorry for letting you believe I was the man
of your dreams and if you can find it in your heart
to forgive and reason with me I would love to redeem
myself wholeheartedly,
I am sorry if this letter evokes unwanted pain and
recollection,
You deserve perfection,
I pray that is with me, but if not, I pray it is with
someone who is unequivocally your hearts greatest blessing…